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2016年8月17日星期三

不思疑(英倫篇)


1. 香港股民的觀察:佢到底係唔鍾意梳頭,定係特登唔梳頭,等你地記得佢?(粵語:他到底是不喜歡梳頭,還是故意不梳頭,讓大家記得他?)

2. 點解 Vidal Sassoon 啲徒子徒孫唔出手(粵語:為甚麼著名髮型師沙宣的徒弟不出手),幫(替)約翰遜 (Boris Johnson) (圖)剪翻個(粵語:理一個)貼貼服服的 Mop Top( The Beatles 的髮型)?還是他們已經跟隨師傅的步伐,從髮型師變身生意人,於是贊成留歐,所以不會替主張脫歐的政客理髮?

3. 翻查資料,約翰遜是富家子兼名校生。理論上,是有教養的人。英國的貴族學校(以及香港的 Band 1 教會名校)對學生的衣著和髮型素有嚴格要求。還是此君讀書時代已經非常懶散,甚至無得救,所以連老師也放棄了他?

4. 男人的髮型出事,第一個看不過眼的,通常是身邊的女人。女人控制男人,往往從髮型、服裝或飲食習慣開始(例子:鬼婆在奶昔中下毒殺夫)。為甚麼約翰遜的老婆或老媽袖手旁觀,還是習已為常,無眼睇(粵語:放棄了)?

5. 約翰遜的新職位是外相。處理外交事務的中年男人,不是應該外表得體、衣著合身、頭髮貼服的嗎?還是女首相文翠珊 (Theresa May) 覺得非常時期用人應該不拘一格,於是起用一個既不入型亦不入格頭髮蓬鬆的肥鬼佬,好讓對家(歐洲政客)看不透大英帝國的底牌兼且羞辱談判對手?還是保守黨內根本沒有人願意出任那個職位,蜀中無大將,廖化作先鋒?

6. 如果約翰遜訪問美國(他的出生地),是否應該參加 Reality Show,讓精通時裝和髮型的男同志 Stylist(造型師)替他來個 Make Over (大變身)?還是應該由女首相文翠珊喜歡的 Vivienne Westwood 出手(據說她愛穿西太后設計的高跟鞋),轉走狂野的 Street Fashion 甚至 Punk 路線?反正約翰遜並非俊男,更具可塑性。既然英國已經決定脫歐,走自己的路,讓醜男出席外交談判的時候順便推廣英倫品牌,一舉兩得,對不對?

7. 因為英國應該留歐還是脫歐的爭議,約翰遜跟前首相卡梅倫 (David William Donald Cameron) 決裂,政治上從此各行各路。公投的結果,是民眾選擇脫歐,外表得體的卡梅倫鞠躬下台,其貌不揚的約翰遜上位,到底是靓仔(粵語:英俊小生)無眼光兼無本事(例如:馬英九),還是醜男有腦,懂得解讀民情,終於時來運到大翻身?女人掌權,醜男上位,是否大洗牌?自己想。

照片來源:The Guardian

YouTube 精選:

Beijing 2008 Paralympic closing ceremony - London 2012 bus (25:15)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvS2WoQd1og
約翰遜 (Boris Johnson) 首次吸引港人注意,是 2008 年北京奧運的閉幕儀式(3:35 開始現身)。他以倫敦市長的身份,從北京市長的手上,接過奧運旗幟。由於樣貌身型跟末代港督彭定康 (Chris Patten) 近似,被香港網民冠名「烏 Where 版肥彭」(粵語:手工粗糙的盜版彭定康)。當年在網上有港人留言,懷疑大英帝國玩嘢(即:有心羞辱偉大祖國),於是派個頭髮蓬鬆兼衣不稱身的肥鬼佬做代表。

Vidal Sassoon: The Movie - Official Trailer (2010) (2:14)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28jvlBA0RMk
這部紀錄片講述著名髮型師 Vidal Sassoon 的生平。

2014 沙宣 ABC 男髮修剪教程 1 (24:32)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUskd2pHW28
Vidal Sassoon 剪髮技巧示範,附普通話旁白。

Mop Cut (2:23)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GfoT0LbKnk
中年鬼佬剪掉長髮兼剃去鬍鬚,眼耳口鼻出翻黎(重現),立即靓翻晒(變帥哥)。

The Beatles Mop Top Hairstyle (5:12)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNOoGgf34SA
The Beatles 的專用髮型師接受訪問,講述四位成員髮型背後的故事。

The Beatles - Let it be (with Lyrics) (3:47)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D5JJZl6MB0
經典名曲,無須介紹。

Vivienne Westwood | Spring Summer 2017 Full Fashion Show | Menswear (13:54)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG08nDrC7Ug
這是西太后所設計的男裝,風格前衛,少一點膽量都不敢穿。

Katherine Jenkins - God Save the Queen (1:33)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAwMhfJrv-g
懷念港英。Katherine Jenkins 的歌唱路線跟 Sarah Brightman 很相似,都是古典 Crossover 流行。

延伸閱讀/參考資料:

The Guardian (2012-06-08)
Boris Johnson's bad hair days – in pictures
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/gallery/2012/jun/08/boris-johnson-bad-hair-pictures
Extract: Chatshow host David Letterman cheekily asked the mayor of London how long he had been cutting his own hair when he appeared on the Late Show this week. We consider some disastrous moments in the history of Boris's barnet.

Wikipedia - Boris Johnson (1964-)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Johnson

Wikipedia - Vidal Sassoon (1928-2012)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vidal_Sassoon

Wikipedia - Vivienne Westwood (1941-)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivienne_Westwood

Men’s Hair Blog -
How to do the Mop Top hairstyle and Haircut to rock it 60’s style!
http://www.menshairblog.com/mop-top-hairstyle-haircut-style-how-to/
Extract: The Mop Top is a hairstyle that is mostly associated with the Beatles during the 60s; Paul McCartney and the rest of The Beatles’ crew popularized the Mop Top hairstyle, but the medium-length Mop Top died in the ’70’s and it wasn’t revived until nowadays (due to the internet!). The Mop Top hairstyle is thus an excellent styling option for your hair that will certainly have you standing out if you get the Mop Top right. Essentially, the Mop Top is a medium-length hairstyle that covers the forehead and ears with vertical bang; it is thus an easy hairstyle to do if you follow this tutorial to the T.

Cultural Impact of the Beatles
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_impact_of_the_Beatles
Extract: The Beatle haircut, also known as the "mop-top" (or moptop), because of its resemblance to a mop, or "Arthur" among fans, is a mid-length hairstyle named after and popularised by the Beatles, and widely mocked by many adults. It is a straight cut – collar-length at the back and over the ears at the sides, with a straight fringe (bangs). Because of the immense popularity of the Beatles, the haircut was widely imitated worldwide between 1964 and 1966. Their hair-style led toy manufacturers to begin producing real-hair and plastic "Beatle Wigs". Lowell Toy Manufacturing Corp. of New York was licensed to make "the only AUTHENTIC Beatle Wig". There have been many attempts at counterfeiting, but in its original packaging this wig has become highly collectible.

Wikipedia - Murder of Robert Kissel
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Robert_Kissel
Extract: The Nancy Kissel murder case (officially called the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region v Nancy Ann Kissel) was a highly publicised criminal trial held in the High Court of Hong Kong, where Nancy Kissel (née Keeshin) was convicted of the murder of her husband, investment banker Robert, in their apartment on 2 November 2003. The case was known as the "milkshake murder" because Kissel was alleged to have incapacitated her husband by serving him a strawberry milkshake full of sedatives before bludgeoning him to death. It was possibly the highest profile murder of an expatriate in Hong Kong's history, together with the Braemar Hill murders and the trial was closely covered in the media. Kissel was convicted of murder in 2005 and received a mandatory life sentence. The Court of Final Appeal overturned the conviction in February 2010, citing legal errors, and ordered a retrial. The retrial began on 12 January 2011 and, on 25 March 2011, she was again found guilty of her husband's murder and sentenced to life in prison. Kissel is serving her sentence at Tai Lam Centre for Women.

相關的文章:

沈旭暉
2016 年 5 月 6 日
http://xiaoshousha.blogspot.hk/2016/05/blog-post.html
節錄:這位姊妹說,亞洲男人的輪廓不夠分明,身型也不夠高大威猛,如果本身是肥底(圓潤),再將頭髮梳高蠟起,容易出事。 Auntie 的理解,是變成毛澤東、習近平或金正恩。研究沈旭暉的照片,卻發覺他有苦衷。當他正面面對鏡頭的時候,你會發覺他的臉左右不對稱。把頭髮往上梳再做 Highlight,有助轉移視線。另一個解決辦法,是用側面入鏡,或戴副眼鏡掩飾。

不思疑
2015 年 12 月 17 日
http://xiaoshousha.blogspot.hk/2015/12/blog-post_17.html
節錄: Auntie 有以下問題,想請教各位大哥(及大嫂),歡迎留言。 1. 張華峰跟黃楚標是甚麼關係?一起唱 K 的酒肉朋友?以張華峰的水平,居然可以成為代表金融業(千王群英會)的立法會議員,阿爺要紅不要專? 2. 娶華裔女子然後進軍中國市場,梅伯 (Rupert Murdoch) 試過行不通,點解(為甚麼)朱伯(Facebook 的朱黑伯格)還要用這一招?我老婆比較旺夫?

揾食
2013 年 10 月 10 日
http://xiaoshousha.blogspot.hk/2013/10/blog-post_10.html
節錄:肥彭任內,曾經宴請訪港的德國總理科爾(英文:Helmut Kohl)。他的做法,並非在港督府設官式宴會,而是請科爾到中環著名食肆鏞記吃燒鵝、飲青島啤,飯後再帶科爾到當時位於同一條街(威靈頓街)的泰昌餅家(英文:Tai Cheong Bakery)吃蛋撻(英文:Egg Tart)當甜品。這種帶你出街「揾食」的做法,非常之有 Hong Kong Style。

地雷、狗屎、界外效應
2010 年 6 月 11 日
http://xiaoshousha.blogspot.hk/2010/06/blog-post_11.html
節錄:埋地雷的典範,是末代港督彭定康 (Chris Patten, 1944-)。肥彭任內 (1992-1997) 把香港的幾間專上院校通通升格為大學,又委任董建華為行政局成員。今天看來,人數倍增又缺乏向上流動機會的失業大學生,以及禍港七年、成功殲滅中產、把香港還原到資本主義初級階段的老董,都是大殺傷力秘密武器。肥彭實在高招,而香港人還要歡迎他回來吃蛋撻呢。

17/08/2016

For 米:華人社會,男人要面,鍾意扮大佬,以為可以食住女人,結果變成「講就天下無敵,做就有心無力」,但係當事人自我感覺良好囉,吹水界(即是:政壇+傳媒+大學)特別多呢種男人。肯扮演 underdog 或者下把的醜男,通常會去娛樂圈揾食,你睇呀肥媽、Do Do 姐或蘇絲黃主持節目個陣,身邊總有一兩個醜男傍住,俾佢哋糟質、踐踏,以為硬食就可以上位,然後拍廣告接商演揾真銀,即係:呢度蝕個度賺。周星馳電影中的醜男配角,也是玩這一套。

2 則留言:

匿名 說...

因著你這篇的緣故,突意去找Boris Johnson的演說片段看;明白了他經營這個形象的底蘊。從他的演說所見,絶不會是一個蠢人;他的演說如果是對不懂得換位思考的人來說,是很有說服力的。

扮under dog這一招,中國人/香港人未識得用(有的話都是少數)。究竟是文化因素還是實際環境不同?還請賜教。

匿名 說...

Thanks for the insight.